Feeling Stuck in Depression

If you’re struggling with depression, being told to simply “do something positive” can feel dismissive, or even patronizing. Ironically, behavioral activation—a proven approach for treating depression—is often pitched in that way. It's an oversimplification because what you do matters quite a bit. Behavioral activation isn't just about keeping busy with anything pleasurable; it’s about rebuilding a skill and using your experiences to jumpstart your mind.

When you’ve been depressed, it can feel like you’ve fallen out of practice making space for pleasure. It’s common for people who feel this way to pick activities that just pass the time. These folks miss a critical piece of the puzzle. Success often depends on understanding the difference between passive versus active pleasures.

Passive Pleasures Keep Us Stuck

When a person with depression is feeling fatigued, it is natural to gravitate toward low-effort activities. However, these "passive pleasures" often lack the necessary ingredients for recalibrating our minds toward reward and boosting our moods.

Passive activities tend to…

• Isolate us (minimal contact with the broader world).

• Prevent growth (no skill-building or mastery).

• Soak up our time (filling the hours without connecting to something bigger than ourselves).

• Make us feel numb (repetitive and familiar actions for temporary distraction).

Common examples include endless social media scrolling, binge-watching television alone, excessively sleeping to avoid our stressors, and using substances.

The Role of Active Pleasure

For behavioral activation to work, people often need to focus specifically on active pleasures. It can feel counterintuitive when you are exhausted, but activities that require more initial effort often jumpstart our moods the most.

Behavioral activation is about doing energizing things rather than just resting or recharging. It takes real work. But in return, you may actually start seeing your mood increase over time.

Active pleasures help you…

• Affirm your self-worth (remind yourself about your value and ability to impact the world).

• Build mastery (practice a skill to increase your confidence).

• Experience novelty (step beyond the familiar).

• Foster connection (build a sense of togetherness with your people, community, and environment).

Examples include cooking a new recipe for a friend, joining a community fitness class, and gardening—activities where you are creating and doing rather than just consuming.

Planning Your Next Move

If you are struggling to decide which activities are worth your limited energy, consider this checklist to help pick between passive "time-filler" activities and active "mood-builder" behaviors.

Reengaging with Your Life

Behavioral activation is a powerful tool, but it is not as simple as just occupying your time. When you know what kind of active behaviors work best for combating depression, it becomes easier to make space for them in the context of what you’re already doing in your life.

The changes you make do not have to be perfect. The people who are most successful take advantage of the opportunities that are already available (today!).

In my telehealth practice, I specialize in helping patients navigate the confusion of depression. I work with patients to help them find the “active pleasures” in their life that align with their values and goals. We move away from passive coping and toward active, growth-oriented living.